Bitching: Part 2

"Honestly, I like being asian because I like being myself.. I'm not saying that because I'm trying to quell latent insecurities about my own racial identity. I sense that some people are so afraid of being labelled as "FOB". But seriously, like what Pastor Jeremy said today, are we mere echoes, an unoriginal reflection of all that's around us? Or are we voices. God has created us so uniquely, it's such a waste that we are all clamoring for the same poorly synthesized identity."

The above paragraph is what I posted on Facebook. But after today I have so much I wanna say. The group dynamics remind me of F group in Q place. I guess I can dismiss everything to youthful ignorance. But that's kinda insulting I feel. What's the value in an opinion if everything is discounted.

I felt like I was intruding. There was a certain "hierarchy" I think. Two noticeably more dominant personalities, the rest more reserved, and another one loud but from what I sense, a tad insecure. This particular person seemed to respect the dominant personalities a lot more. Doing things to get the 'approval' of the former 'bosses'.

When we sat down, only those two ordered beer. I'm not sure if the rest were of drinking age, but they seem to think it's cool. Even though they seemed to have the "power" at the table, they didn't initiate any ice breaking with the new guy, ie. me. Since I do not want to dwell too much in first impressions, in summary, I got a pretty douchey vibe from xxx. I don't like people who deliberately tell you a wrong name during introductions. I think it's just plain rude. If I don't know you yet, what makes you think I already know you are such a funny person whose jokes are so funnily funny that whatever you do and say is supposed to be cool? Making a joke like that is a serious first impression booboo. Yes. I used booboo.

Thank God. There were some warm people. People who made sense. The people you REALLY want at your parties. I was too mentally preoccupied that I didn't appreciate them properly. I'm deeply grateful for them.

I've learnt many lessons today. It's been a long time since my mind had to venture this far, socially and spiritually.

Loving Australia so far, but missing Singapore far more!